i hope i never figure out who broke your heart

i am home. on my feet running.
arizona was a lot of fun, the perfect amount of sun that i needed and i always enjoy being with my boyfriend, even if i do live with him.
the wedding events are being eased in my mind - my duties are being crossed off my list.



i really, really need to start making things for craft fairs that are coming up in the area. the thought of making crafty things for a real purpose really excites me. i can hear my needles clickin'.

it's all good, all the time.

tomorrow i am canning salsa with my mom.
monday through thursday i deal with school.
friday i am going to indy with bailey to see the kings of leon.
saturday we are driving home.
sunday i'm chillin'.
monday and tuesday i devote to school.
wednesday i'm flying by myself to meet up with lee in tucson, arizona.
monday we are flying home together.
between tuesday and friday a party must happen, shoes must be bought, a dress must be picked up, and i must devote an ample amount of time to homework.
saturday i'm in eliza's wedding.
sunday i will recover from eliza's wedding.
monday through thursday i am a slave to the educational system.
and so it repeats itself with all new, but just as overwhelming and demanding variables.

can you believe it?
this is my life.

i cannot wait to eat at sweet tomatoes :].

yesterday i would've said, "i'm in ohio and i'm having the time of my life."
today i say, "i just want to go HOME."

i miss my momma, i miss my cat, and i miss my chill time. plus, i only want my own family to get snappy with me, not someone else's. get over yourself, (wo)man. that's what i say.




on the bright side, i FINALLY got to go to a container store(!) and i bought myself a 'cereal-on-the-go' contraption. on the bottom there is a freezable cup that you fill with milk that screws into a container on the top that you fill with cereal. it comes with a little foldable spoon and i just want to say that it was made for me :]. still gotta love life!

+ we have a feline addition to our house. his name is cobra and he is adorable :]. i'll post pictures later.
+ school started today. i drove 45 minutes to have one class and to find absolutely NO parking. i had to park at the dorms and walk across the bridge. it was weird.
- i think my laptop battery is draining far too fast.
+ lee and i are crusin' to ohio this weekend for the cleveland air show.
+ i love life :].

great things!
[basically all moved in.]
[saw ashley and ben at work by accident!]
[ash & ben are getting an apartment in town.]
[meeting up with tasha & family this week.]
[picking up cheryl's hours at work for all of august.]
[my dad being a baller and making things happen.]
[my boyfriend being awesomely cute :].]
[having our music as loud as we could possibly want it.]

TODAY IS MOVING DAY!
holy shit holy shit holy shit.

someday, this livejournal will be much more indepth. right now i just use it to lurk a few people, but it should actually hold me feelings, my thoughts, and documentational images. someday.

and someday (a day that should come in two weeks, approximately) i will be out of this small, yet convienent apartment and into a house personalized with lee and i's being, complete with all our belongings. it could not come fast enough. the moving has started; mom and i loaded up three station wagons with all of our kitchen items/food, my clothes, and my craft stuff. yikes. lee stil wants to get a u-haul for all of his big items (tv, computer, couches, etc) but all our small stuff should be there before hand. tomorrow we start getting our carpet installed in the evening, which is AWESOME! and tomorrow the kitchen and dining room will be done being painted and i can start to scrub and scrub and scrub and organize :]. sweet :]. it's progressing. and i'm done talking about it.

i hate having no motivation. i hate how everything is in transit. and i hate how my relatives are coming this week and i have to move my stuff out of chelsea's room so they can stay there. i'll have to stay at lee's dad's or sleep with mom now, and that just kind of messes up the awesomeness that is staying in chelsea's room. if you only knew.

we are staying at the apartment tonight for what could be the last time. we have no food, we have no tv, and my cheek is falling apart (it seriously hurts!). yay.

my mom just told us that she would give us $500 for our carpet which is half, if not more. so stoked about that! i want to move already! i think another solid two weeks of working, plus carpet installation and we should be good to go :]. please, God.

so this really happened to me today:
lee and i are sitting at lee's dad's house, and lee's dad comes home after taking the twins home and begins to tell us this story...
larry (lee's dad): yeah, it took for forever to get back through town. there was some big car accident with a black car and a van in front of the auction barn.
me: was it a red van?
larry: yeah. i think so.
me: was it an old red van?
larry: yeah, i'm pretty sure.
me: did it have wood paneling?
larry: um, i think so.
me: omg. that's my grandpa. it's horse sale day at the auction barn!
so i call my grandparent's house, no answer. i call my grandpa's cell phone, no answer. i'm freaking out by this point so lee and i go up to check out the scene and sure enough, there is a totaled black car on one side of the road and my grandpa and his van standing on the other. everyone was okay, but it was FREAKY. my grandpa is 82 years old! my grandma had come up with the other van, so i talked to her for a sec and then went to see if my grandpa needed anything. i patted him on the back and he said nothing, but he LATCHED onto me, and wouldn't let me go for like, five minutes. he got a little cut up and was sore, but other than that, he's okay. apparently, he had been waiting to turn into the auction barn parking lot and some guy RAMMED into him and shot him across the other lane into another car. he had a dent in the back of his van and a dent in the front of his van. i couldn't believe it was really him. but everything is okay :]. he's tough as nails. i love him :]]]. i can't wait to be his neighbor.

this whole house dealio is stressin' lee and i out hardcore. we both haven't slept right for many, many nights and i'm tired of thinking about it ALL the time. the whole situation seems so daunting right now: so much to clean, paint, and renovate and so much money to spend. in the end, i know we'll be coming out ahead, based on the money we (successfully) spend where we live now, doing what we're doing and the perks of being back in the wana (which are ultra plentiful :]). i puttered around there the other day but we haven't just DOVE into the work yet, which i think will help us when we get started this weekend. we have lots and lots of outside things to do (like trim trees and clean gutters) and a garage to organize then it's inside to clean, clean, clean. i know we have a lot of people willing to help us (and i love them SO much for that) but it stills feel like a lot just looming out there.

this weekend we're scrubbing and (hopefully!) painting the kitchen/dining room, starting bathroom renovations, and putting the laundry room back together so we have at least one toilet in the house :]. it'll be awesome in the end, and fully worth every bit of sweat and money spent, but right now, it's seeming pretty major. it'll be so awesome to always be around my family, have my grandma cook me lunch (we'll be neighbors! with the same driveway), plant a garden, have parties, get a puppy (BULL TERRIER :]]]), babysit the nieces and nephews, and enjoy the country life again. i cannot WAIT.

we have approximately seven weekends to scrub and paint (including ceilings) the kitchen/dining room, the living room, both bedrooms, renovate the bathroom, powerwash the basement, and do some fixin' up outside. we need all new bathroom appliances (tub, sink, toilet, fan) and linoleum, to fix our washer, a new stove and fan, and carpet for the living room, hallway, and one bedroom. in the fall we'll probably need a new furnace and a new roof, plus windows and a new backdoor as we can afford it. pray that we get it done before we move in in late july. PRAY HARD.

i saw three herons the other day, so that's a good sign :]. love life.

we're moving! it's official - at least to us :]. we decided to rent my aunt's house, do some serious renovation, move in, and get a puppy(!). now lee and i will have to commute approximately forty minutes to school at least two times a week, but all the benefits are so worth it. we'll be back in our hometown, with our family and our nieces and nephews :], and we'll live next to my grandparents, we have apple trees and the ability to paint every room in the house, we'll have two bathrooms and two bedrooms and brand new carpet and a sweet layout, and we just won't miss out on things anymore. we'll be more likely to do things, like go on walks, ride our bikes, and plant our garden, if we're some where that welcomes it, and that's just not apartment living.

and guess what...
we're PUMPED.

everything is working out (price of rent, school schedule, working situation) and i saw THREE herons today! that means God is a-workin' in our favor, as always :]. i've been stressin' out about this for the past five days or so and i'm so ready to NOT be. and now it's far more excitement than worry. so...YAY!

LOVE LIFE X A MILLION!

my life has been crazy good these past few weeks :]. when school was out for the summer, i spent many days in shipshe with a trip to ft. wayne that fulfilled many, much needed aspects of life. aka there was laughter and lots of it. my summer class starts this monday, and i'm even pumped for that. my mom is doing awesome. my dad is doing awesome. my grandparents are doing even awesome-er and nothing makes me happier than that. i like it that i'm pumped to come home to my apartment and this finally feels like my real home. even lunch with a lady friend :].

lee and i just got back from ohio (close to jane boston!) and i bought TONS of yarn :]]] and have a projects galore list. i think i'm going to put an ad on the university website for crafty friends - they seem hard to come by.

check my flickr (forevernebraska) for pictures of my awesome life, if you want to make yourself insanely jealous.

also, rhode island chelsea - expect a package from me soon. soon as in within the next two weeks, because, as much as i hate to admit it, i do procrastinate.

i'm antsy. i really need to get started on this english project, but i'm doing anything i can to avoid it, like making spanish notecards and consantly refilling lee's water glass.

we had amazing chinese food tonight which prompty proceeded to make me feel sick. also, i feel like i'll be going to school for infinity more years. thank you, indiana university south bend. thank you.

life has been beyond good lately. i officially love everything and everyone.

for starters, bailey and i have been reunited and regardless of everything, i fucking love that girl. it goes beyond words sometimes. i think it's nice that we're at a time in our lives where everything just is. we hang out and laugh and giggle and do whatever. we're going to chicago in a couple weeks to see the screening of HANDMADE NATION. i am so pumped! i hope it's everything i want it to be and more. which i'm sure it will be. i like how every time i go to bailey's house, her mom has made an entire plate of chocolate covered strawberries and they're always amazing. that's part of why i love life as well :].

as i mentioned before, bailey and i are going to chicago. we're also gearing up for SUMMER! which can only mean concerts, craft fairs, and spending all our time at the dunes (because this is what we've planned to do). i'm taking some classes the first summer session at IUSB but after june 28, i'm only doing amazing things. all the time.

i had a spinning lesson with this amazing lady named kim in goshen. i can't describe it. she's so cool. she knows everything (we talked about education because, it turns out, she taught for a while! and then we talked the status of south bend and she understood everything and it was AWESOME) and i'll definitely be going back.

everything is just falling into place and i definitely can't complain. LOVE LIFE!

i am unbelievably happy right now. i love this weather. i love blue, cloudless skies. i love the way spring jumps up and is HERE and the weather is instantly lovely. lee and i are going to walk around down by the river today or ride our bikes. i am going to take our patio furniture back out to the porch and knit and knit and knit in the nice weather. i am already making christmas presents, plus some other things. i am in the mood to make another zine but i'm undecided as what to write about. lee said he would treat me to ice cream today and i need to return something to hobby lobby. this is, hands down, one of the best spring breaks ever. and to think, lee and i have survived a winter living together :]. i love him so much. i love everything so much. everything is perfect.

happy st. patrick's day :].
it's my mom's first day back to work in the two and a half months since her surgery. i'm a-prayin'.

there was a time when i was 15
and words just rolled off my tongue
and love just welled up inside me.

gosh, what a person i was.

revel in it.

i need to start working out, hardcore.
i need to start knitting, hardcore.
i need to start reading, hardcore.

right now i am reading i capture the castle
and it's awesome :]. dodie smith.

i love hiphop at heart.
i thought i was lost, gone,
but i am really just swimming under the surface.


i can bust through at any time.

my gnome was stolen.
stolen right from my door.
flyers are up
and rewards are out.

birthday weekend festivities were good :]. got lots of nice presents (including a hippo!), had lots of good cake, laughed a lot, and shot a gun. then i got the flu. i spent my birthday in bed, annoyed by the extreme pain in my stomach. today i'm doing much better; lee and i walked around the river and enjoyed the amazing weather.

hello to being nineteen :].
i'm positive this age will look up.